I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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