We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
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