There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
