you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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