how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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