the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
