You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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