I wish I only lived at night.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
