doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
