Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
