beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
