WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
