Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have fence marks all over my body
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
