it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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