I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
