Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
