is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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