Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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