he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
