This is not my ceiling
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
