Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
