you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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