You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
