Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
