let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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