you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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