"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
