I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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