It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
