Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
