Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
