I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
