did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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