Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
