Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
