i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize