The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
