We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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