This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
