At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
