I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
