i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You ruined the universe
Randomize
