My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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