For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's not a walk of shame if you run
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
