she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
