You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
