Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
