He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
