he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
