That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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