98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
