Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
